WIVES SUBMIT!!! People shout that all the time at women who have husbands. To be honest, a lot of die hard christian men shout this at their wives all the time and throw the scripture at them. To all who through that phrase at wives, do you have the same definition and purpose of submit as the Word of God? Wives, are we submitting the right way? Husbands, are you asking your wives to submit the right way? I know what you are thinking. “Submission means I control everything because I’m the head.” “I give my husband control over me because the bible says he is the head.” Can we delve deeper into this? Let’s go!

Let’s look at the scripture first.

Ephesians 5:22-24; 33 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Colossians 3:18 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”

You see the scriptures right? Okay let’s delve into the word “submit”.

Submit: to place oneself in order, to yield willingly, to cooperate with a structure or mission

1. Willing Alignment– submission is a choice to align with your husbands leadership. You are not submitting because of perfection, but because GOD IS FAITHFUL.
2. Order Not Value– It is function not worth. Just like Jesus submits to the Father yet they are equal in divinity. SUBMISSION= DIVINE ORDER FOR UNITY
3. Strength Under Control– Submission is meekness NOT weakness. A submitting wife is not quiet because she is small, but because she’s INTENTIONAL.
4. Mutuality in Context(verse. 21)- It is mutual honor, sacrificial love, and shared purpose. Walk WITH your husband NOT BEHIND HIM.

In verse 33 the word “respect” is placed there. What does respect mean? It means to honor, treat as significant, and regard with care. So what does this mean exactly? Let me tell you. It means treat him like he is important. That means you are to choose words, tone, and posture that AFFIRMS his significance even in disagreement (Proverbs 18:21). It means speaking respectfully especially when things are tense as that is when reverence REALLY shows up. At those moments you are to correct without belittling, disagree without contempt, and express without attacking. Respect is guarding his dignity publicly and privately. Respect is trusting his desire to do well. Acknowledge your husband’s efforts not just his outcomes. Acknowledge his growth, not just his gaps. Acknowledge his intentions EVEN WHEN execution falls short. This will create the space for redemption.

Respect also creates EMOTIONAL SAFETY. This helps him to lead without defensiveness, listen without shutting down, and love more freely. In our day to day lives as wives it looks like speaking about him with honor, not tearing him down to others, letting him know you see his value, allowing him space to lead without micromanaging, choosing admiration over nagging (which can be hard for some), and protecting his name even when correcting him.

Let me tell you what reverence is NOT. It is NOT being afraid to speak your truth. It is NOT idolizing or excusing sinful behavior. It is NOT silencing your needs or emotions. It is NOT allowing disrespect or abuse slide. It is DEFINITELY NOT making yourself small so he can feel big. God NEVER asks a wife to abandon wisdom, discernment, or dignity.

There it is in a nutshell. Let me make something clear. I am talking to all wives INCLUDING myself. I have only been married for 2.5 years, HOWEVER God began dealing with ME and how I was as a wife at first. THE DIFFERENCE? I began to look at ME. Not very many women do that today in current 2025. A lot of women struggle with accountability (that is another subject for another post later on). As for me? I began changing things that did not necessarily make me a bad wife but there were things I weren’t doing the bible way. I had the wrong idea of submission the ENTIRE TIME. Can I tell on myself? I certainly can. I needed a heavy renewal of my mind on this and with the Lord’s help. I was successful. Now I press EVERY DAY toward the mark. I do my best to make sure that I am doing the things that are posted right here on this site. These are the things of a wife. God bless.