Tag: encouragement

Wife Thingz

Wife Thingz

by BiancaDuffusOfficial ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

WIVES SUBMIT!!! People shout that all the time at women who have husbands. To be honest, a lot of die hard christian men shout this at their wives all the time and throw the scripture at them. To all who through that phrase at wives, do you have the same definition and purpose of submit as the Word of God? Wives, are we submitting the right way? Husbands, are you asking your wives to submit the right way? I know what you are thinking. “Submission means I control everything because I’m the head.” “I give my husband control over me because the bible says he is the head.” Can we delve deeper into this? Let’s go!

Let’s look at the scripture first.

Ephesians 5:22-24; 33 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Colossians 3:18 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”

You see the scriptures right? Okay let’s delve into the word “submit”.

Submit: to place oneself in order, to yield willingly, to cooperate with a structure or mission

  1. Willing Alignment– submission is a choice to align with your husbands leadership. You are not submitting because of perfection, but because GOD IS FAITHFUL.
  2. Order Not Value– It is function not worth. Just like Jesus submits to the Father yet they are equal in divinity. SUBMISSION= DIVINE ORDER FOR UNITY
  3. Strength Under Control– Submission is meekness NOT weakness. A submitting wife is not quiet because she is small, but because she’s INTENTIONAL.
  4. Mutuality in Context(verse. 21)- It is mutual honor, sacrificial love, and shared purpose. Walk WITH your husband NOT BEHIND HIM.

In verse 33 the word “respect” is placed there. What does respect mean? It means to honor, treat as significant, and regard with care. So what does this mean exactly? Let me tell you. It means treat him like he is important. That means you are to choose words, tone, and posture that AFFIRMS his significance even in disagreement (Proverbs 18:21). It means speaking respectfully especially when things are tense as that is when reverence REALLY shows up. At those moments you are to correct without belittling, disagree without contempt, and express without attacking. Respect is guarding his dignity publicly and privately. Respect is trusting his desire to do well. Acknowledge your husband’s efforts not just his outcomes. Acknowledge his growth, not just his gaps. Acknowledge his intentions EVEN WHEN execution falls short. This will create the space for redemption.

Respect also creates EMOTIONAL SAFETY. This helps him to lead without defensiveness, listen without shutting down, and love more freely. In our day to day lives as wives it looks like speaking about him with honor, not tearing him down to others, letting him know you see his value, allowing him space to lead without micromanaging, choosing admiration over nagging (which can be hard for some), and protecting his name even when correcting him.

Let me tell you what reverence is NOT. It is NOT being afraid to speak your truth. It is NOT idolizing or excusing sinful behavior. It is NOT silencing your needs or emotions. It is NOT allowing disrespect or abuse slide. It is DEFINITELY NOT making yourself small so he can feel big. God NEVER asks a wife to abandon wisdom, discernment, or dignity.

There it is in a nutshell. Let me make something clear. I am talking to all wives INCLUDING myself. I have only been married for 2.5 years, HOWEVER God began dealing with ME and how I was as a wife at first. THE DIFFERENCE? I began to look at ME. Not very many women do that today in current 2025. A lot of women struggle with accountability (that is another subject for another post later on). As for me? I began changing things that did not necessarily make me a bad wife but there were things I weren’t doing the bible way. I had the wrong idea of submission the ENTIRE TIME. Can I tell on myself? I certainly can. I needed a heavy renewal of my mind on this and with the Lord’s help. I was successful. Now I press EVERY DAY toward the mark. I do my best to make sure that I am doing the things that are posted right here on this site. These are the things of a wife. God bless.

Breeding Anxiety

Breeding Anxiety

by BiancaDuffusOfficial ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Have you ever thought to yourself, “Do I create my own anxiety?” If you have not had that thought, how real are you being with yourself? If you have had that thought, you are not alone. My blogging is designed to help those out there, especially women be real to be real with themselves, to think/examine themselves, and to come to the realization that we are not alone. This blog is meant for ENCOURAGEMENT and the nudging for SPIRITUAL GROWTH. Now of course, my blogs come with scripture. I wouldn’t being doing you, me, or anyone any justice if I didn’t. So, let’s start with this one: “Do not be anxious about anything–but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.“-Philippians 4:6

We are believers and devoted children of the most high right? So WHY do we struggle to obey Philippians 4:6? We are anxious when it comes to our education, family, children, marriage, health, you name it! Let me be real. I am one who honestly STRUGGLES with anxiety. I have gotten so much better in some areas but the anxiety has remained. Why is that? Let me tell you. In all honesty, WE CAUSE OUR OWN ANXIETY by the things and thoughts we put into our minds and the things that we speak. The word of God tells us “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any virtue and if there is anything worthy of praise—dwell on these things.”-Philippians 4:8 Isn’t it funny how these words come after the Lord telling us not to be anxious about anything? It took me a long time to realize that I cause my own anxiety and it is because of what I am meditating on? Ask yourself what are you meditating on? Instead of feeling our minds with and focusing on how people act towards us, what people say to us, what bills we have, if we are good wives, if we are good mothers, if we are good children to our parents, if we are worth anything, what people think of us, if we are good employees, what if you are sick, if we are doing enough, how are we going to get certain things done, and the list can go on and on for ANYBODY. The bottom line is those are NOT THE THINGS that we should be focusing on. Whatever concerns and worries we have, we are instructed to take them to God. Unfortunately, we do not always do that, or we do it but then pick it back up instead of leaving it there. I am at the point in my life where I am choosing to focus on WHO GOD IS, His LOVE, His GRACE, His WORD, my loveable and loving son, my husband and the good things he does and says, the career God has blessed me with, the home and family God has blessed me with, the transportation I have to get to my place of employment, the food God provides, I HAVE A LIST. Focus on the things that you know you do correctly and with a pure heart. Do not focus on your shortcomings. Focus on what you have accomplished, YES even the smallest things like completing your laundry for the day. Choose to meditate on the positive impact you make on the lives of others, because believe it or not you ARE making an impact. As a mother, wife, daughter, son, sibling, teacher, advocate (whatever your career entails), you ARE making an impact. Choose. I choose to meditate on those things that are worthy of praise, the lovely things, the pure things, the commendable things. I am choosing to speak life over my life (Proverbs 18:21). You have to decide what you will choose to do. Will you speak life or death? Will you meditate on the negative or the positive? Will you fill your mind with the things and love of God or the cares of life? Whatever choice you make, there is fruit that follows. Be Blessed!