This post is about 2 things: giving and family. Lets talk about family for a second. I have a sister…..who has been feeling a certain about certain people since she was a little girl. Those people are my parents and part of it includes me. As you know my sister is older than me by 4 years clearly she was born before me. Heres the problem: She feels as if we dont love her and if we do she cant see it. She believes that I am spoiled only because she thinks that she have never gotten the same treatment that I have received from my parents. She says all she ever wanted was to feel like she has a family that loves and cares for her. Because she feels the way she feels she feels like she doesnt need to be surrounded by people that dont care for her. She would rather give her attention to other people and dismiss her family. As for me…she feels that I dont respect her as my big sister or an adult for that matter. I tell her thats not true. I have tried being there for her, talking to her, hanging out with her,etc. Previously growing up with her it didnt happen that way….I may have acted a certain way to keep from following in her footsteps as i was younger because of what my parents told me all my life….I cant put my sisters mistakes on the internet…nor mine as well…all I say is awhile back I was a big mess…and her? Well shes still in her ways a little bit and refuses to change. She has her mind made up. In the year of 2010 I decided to change and give my life to Christ…..ever since then Ive been trying to put my family back together in which I feel is broken. I feel like no one is cooperating with me….My sister believes that she does not need to get her hopes up…she thinks my parents wont change….I do admit….my parents have ways that eat me up inside…but I pray for them as well as my sister….but nothing seems to be happening yet…except the fact that everyone is trying to come together and be a family again…like we used to…but its happening so slowly….w/o the participation of my sister….I believe what opened everyones eyes is this…I had a fiance who loved and adored me….he recently passed back in January….so suddenly…one minute he was talking to me…the next hes gone in my arms…and I have been tryin to live with that night every day of my life since then….I think we all decided that life is too short for all the grudges, bad treatment and bickering….We now see the only thing that matters is whats happening now….and right now? My family is broken..and I am doing my best to put everything back in place…..A long time ago someone told me that I would be the bridge for my family…..The problem is…Im still waiting for this to fall into place…All I know is…I cant lose patience…and I refuse to lose faith….The minute I do that….everything will fall apart and get worse….I cant let that happen….I got to keep pressing toward the mark. Let God do the rest. He hears me……He knows what this family needs…