Wives! Guess what? Im back! This time I need you to know. Postpartum dads is a thing! Question: Why do society always focus on women? Hear me out yall! Listen women, listen. I learned a while back that we are not alone in the postpartum journey. Yes, us women stick together and encourage one another, but who is encouraging or paying attention to our brothers? Who is paying attention our husbands and fathers? I hear you, “They don’t go through it like we do.” Try again ladies. They do go through it, minus the physical aspect of it. Everything else they experience.

Have yall ever asked your husbands how they felt? Ever asked them about their thoughts? Their concerns about bringing a child into this world ready or not? Most women would say no because we have always been so focused only on us and the men helping us to recover. Sis, they need to recover too. They need to recover emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, etc. So why not recover TOGETHER? AREN’T WE ONE? Think about it.

Let’s talk stats. Fathers experiencing postpartum is called paternal postpartum. Just like the father can experience the pregnancy symptoms (my husband did), they can experience the “aftermath” as well. 1 in 10 fathers experience perinatal depression. 18% of men may experience significant postpartum anxiety. 25.6% go through postpartum for 3-6 months. 25-50% of fathers go through postpartum depression the same time as their wives.

Have you ever paid attention to your husbands behaviors and responses after having the baby? This is what it looks like in dads:

*Increased anger, frustration, or irritability

*Emotionally distant from spouse

*Withdrawing from family

*Working excessively to avoid being at home

*Feelings of being overwhelmed by financial responsibilities

*Difficulty bonding with the newborn

*Changes in sleep, appetite, or motivation

*Feeling inadequate as a father/husband

Think back to how your husband behaved after having the baby. Did you recognize any of these behaviors in your husband? If your answer is yes, then your husband was postpartum as well as you were. Does this matter for marriages? Yes! It matters because you can support each other, especially with the word of God. I can tell you that my husband was one of those men that experienced/ went through postpartum. I am thankful he has allowed me to share his side and testimony of his experience.

Let me share my husband’s experience:

This is our 2nd child and both times he was postpartum. My husband had anxiety behind being a new dad, so he ran from it. He experience feelings of irritability/anger. He experience feelings of hopelessness. He was withdrawn and excessively working to avoid. He was feeling inadequate as both a husband and father. With our firstborn, it was worse because we were both new parents who didn’t know how to fight through it together with God. We were not patient with one another and we fought through it separately. Did it make us both feel alone? Yes. Did we make it through? Yes we did. You know who got us through? The Lord! This second time around we have learned how to fight through it together with God.

I am 2 weeks postpartum currently. The first week my husband said to me, “I am feeling mixed emotions. I don’t know how and why God would make me a father. I have thoughts of worry about what’s to come.” What helped him is that he decided to renew his mind with the Word of God and he changed his perspective. Through this current journey, he is serving me way more than he ever has, including all the cleaning. He stepped into the role with a new mind!

With God’s help, we continue to fight together. Word of advice wives? DON’T FORGET ABOUT THE FATHERS. Remember, 2 is better than one (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). Bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2). Fight to keep the unity (Ephesians 4:2-3). The best one? It is NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO BE ALONE and be his HELP MEET (Genesis 2:18). There are definitely more scriptures, but this is where I end it ladies.

Wives! Be Blessed!